It gives people a sense of purpose, while pressuring them to be 'good' by their book. So yea, I blame residency for his general 'unavailability', and I would assume that is the case with your guy too. The ideal, in my opinion, is that she discovers what we all know about the lies the church tells her. If you can't deliver it in person, put in an envelope and mail it to me. It was more about my own spirituality and our relationship in our marriage. Or does this sound more like a conscious choice he's making not to get invested in this. This woman is a human being, not a caricature of a TBM. She is going to dump you.